I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
