Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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