you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am available for nakedness
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
