Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
