i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's the barista slut.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
