As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
