Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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