K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
