Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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