Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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