ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
