come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
