I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is that a dick in a sweater?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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