Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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