When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
