I wish I could teleport
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
tell me about the fingering
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
