She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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