But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
