okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
