You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
