I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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