I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
