New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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