I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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