My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
