He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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