that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
