i need an iv and a liver transplant
now i know why i became what i already was.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
