Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
