Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
