Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
