put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
