that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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