Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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