try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
