The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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