my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So many bounce houses so little time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
