Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
