i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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