She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
