I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
