You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
