I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
