i can't believe i had my finger in that
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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