i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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