why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
