Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize