First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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