shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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