im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
