i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
