I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
