Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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